High-Tech Tomorrow: Review of the Strangest Clock in the Universe, By Johnathan

Oh, man. No preamble today - we're just hopping right in. Presenting The Strangest Clock in the Universe:


Strange in that it assumes that there is only one time zone on each planet, that is. I mean, sure it's convenient, but what about all of those poor folk in Japan or wherever who are stumbling around in the dark while it's 1:26 TE (Time on Earth)? I bet that they wish that they were allowed to see the sun once in a while, but really: who ever heard of people sleeping during the afternoon and working in the wee hours of the morning? Not the Science Police, baby. They really crack down on those sort of shenanigans, from their well-lit home base in New Metropolis.

Also, there only seem to be mini-clocks for planets with divisible-by-twelve-hour days, which would explain why I've never heard of any of these places. The Legion never go to any of them because they're just six boring lumps of rock with appropriate rotations. Zanno, for instance, is three feet in diameter and orbits the fourth smallest star in the galaxy.

Seriously, though. This clock could be so cool. It could be a holographic cloud that reassembles itself into different timepieces from across the galaxy or a mass of moving parts that becomes itself into a working representation of different star systems or a Massive, Multi-sided Orange/Red Polygonal Gadget (MMORPG) with a different clock face on each facet. This... thing is possibly the Lamest Clock in the Universe.

Strangest Clock in the Universe? You're NOT APPROVED.

In the same issue (Adventure Comics No. 312) appeared the Mechanical Librarian:


The Mechanical Librarian seems to do a decent enough job but I'm gonna have to come out as against it. A major part of going to the library, Legionnaires, is meeting hot librarians and developing crushes on them. Duh.

NOT APPROVED

[Followup: I was pretty happy with this post at one point but looking at it now I think it kind of blows. What can I say: I didn't get enough sleep last week (c'mon, buy it, buy it) and I think it affected my ability to communicate thoughts in a rational manner. Or I just suck, whichever. Anyway, sorry. This post is NOT APPROVED]